No Such Thing As Monsters
by TerraZeal
Summary: Bobby/Dick Roman slash fic. Dared crack!fic. Don't take it too seriously. T for slash.


_**Author's Note:** Crack fic. I was dared by a friend to write a Bobby/Dick Roman slash fic. This isn't meant to be serious, but if you want to take it that way, feel free. I TRIED to give it meaning, but this pairing just wasn't meant to be...yes, Bobby is a ghost here. I have no idea how/why Bobby is here. I tried to think of a reason, but couldn't. Its a dared crackfic. Take it as such. Everyone is OOC, pretty much._

_**No Such Thing As Monsters**_

Dick Roman prowled his office, hands occasionally shifting through papers on his desk. Why did something not feel..._right? _Everything was going according to plan. Everything.

The only thing in his way happened to be those Winchester brothers, but he would do away with them sooner or later.

He remembered his bullet having connected with something when he had shot them as they fled him...but then they had appeared alive and well the next time he had seen them. What was going on?

Dick laughed. One of his lackeys gave him a sideways glance but said nothing to offend his leader. Dick smashed a vase in the direction of the lackey.

"Go away. I'm trying to think. I don't need you sullying my presence!" The lackey fled without another word, wiping a bits of black blood from the cuts of glass off its face.

_DICK ROMAN! _Dick spun. What the hell was that? What was that...voice? Almost-voice?

"Who are you? Come out, come out whatever you are! I don't play games! I don't. Like. Games!" He punctuated the last few words for emphasis.

An invisible force flung him against his desk, causing him to bang his head on the sharp corner. Black blood oozed from the wound, but almost instantly healed. _What sort of thing is this? _Dick thought.

A flicker of a shape. A man's shape. A giggle welled up in Dick. That old man? The bullet...he had shot the brothers' old man helper. But how was he here now? Didn't those hunter things burn the remains of their dead to prevent ghosts?

_DICK ROMAN! You killed me! _Another forceful shove, a slap. Dick was ready for it this time. Almost didn't feel it. It almost tickled, actually.

"Old man, why don't you come out and face me yourself, if you're so intent on...what IS it exactly that you want from me anyway? You are dead. You can't kill me. Nothing can. No one can." Dick giggled again.

The spirit fully materialized in front of Dick. For an old man, he wasn't half-bad looking...what the hell? Dick shook the thoughts away. The human whose form he had assumed had been bisexual, so perhaps he was getting bits of his feelings.

"Well, well. So I DID kill you...but what are you doing here? HOW are you here? I thought ghosts couldn't leave the place they haunted. Of course, I could be wrong..."

The old man, the ghost, was breathing, if you could call it that, quite heavily and looked very angry. "You killed me. Took me away from my boys. I want you dead. I want vengeance."

The Leviathan laughed. "You can't kill me. They can't kill me. We are immortal. We were here first. We were God's first creations. His best, his most...perfect." Dick walked up to the ghost and looked it in the eyes.

"Your dear boys will die, just like the rest of the world. The older one...his butt-buddy, Castiel, ohhh, yes...he finally broke our prisons. He finally freed us! Now...the world will be as it is meant to be...ours!"

Bobby slapped Dick with a force the Leviathan hadn't been prepared for. "You. Will. Not. Touch. THEM! They're my boys! And Cas thought he was doing the right thing. I would rather have had Cas with YOU in him than Crowley, that bastard, with YOU in him. You might have even LIKED that."

"No. Crowley is a monster. And there is no such thing as monsters. At least...there won't be, when we're through with this world. We will cleanse it. Cleanse it in the way it was MEANT to be cleansed, billions of years ago, before we were trapped..." Dick trailed off.

"You are the monsters. You just want to feed on us...use us as your damned TV dinners. You could care less what happens to the world so long as you got a food supply. You things eat yourselves and each other! If that isn't a monster, what is?" Bobby asked.

"We aren't monsters because...well...we were here first, weren't we? We were created by God first. Everything that came after was an abomination. We are God's perfect creations."

Bobby snorted. "If ya'll are so perfect, why did God trap you in Purgatory?"

Dick smiled. "He was afraid, of course. Afraid that we would ruin His little...'experiment'...with lesser races. We wouldn't have, of course. Until He was finished. Then, it would be OUR world as it was meant to be."

Dick stalked up to the ghost. He reached out and softly stroked his oddly-corporeal cheek. "You were meant to be mine. All of you. Inside of us." Without knowing why, Dick kisses the ghost, hard and rough.

"I can't eat you, but I can still make you mine. Ghost or not, you have no power over me. No real power." Dick demonstrates this as he pushes Bobby to the ground. Bobby attempts to phase out, go back to the brothers, but he cannot.

Dick has him trapped here. Fully trapped. He cannot leave. What could a Leviathan do to a ghost? _I am already dead. He can't kill me again. All he can do is...send my soul on, and why would he do that? _Bobby gasped. For a moment, he had seen Dick's true form, as the Leviathan stood over him.

Tentacles, teeth, everywhere. Body parts in places they shouldn't be. Shapes they shouldn't be. If he had been alive, his brain would likely have melted out of his head. Yet, some part of him saw Dick as he described himself. The perfect creation. The first. Beautiful. _Maybe we ARE the monsters..._Bobby thought as Dick pinned him to the floor with one of his perfect, shiny shoes.

The ghost tried to shove Dick's foot off his chest to no avail. "What do you want with me? Why trap me here? HOW can you trap me here? Ghosts can't leave the place they're haunting."

Dick smiled and leaned down, face perilously close to Bobby's.

"A ghost can only go places where parts of them remain. ANY part of them. DNA. Hair. Skin. Blood. I'm sure you left something behind here. Even if you didn't, we ARE more powerful than those who make the rules about ghosts. We can tear Reapers apart. Or angels. I don't know or care who made the rules about ghosts."

Without warning, Dick kissed Bobby. Slow and passionate. Bobby, despite his hatred and disgust of the monster, did not resist. He had seen Dick's true form. For a moment, had been enraptured by the perfection of it. Slowly, eventually, his common sense got the better of him.

He shove, with all the power a ghost could muster, and Dick flew across the room, hitting the wall with a sound smash.

Dick licked his lips. "You might be dead...but you still taste delightful. And you enjoyed it. Don't lie to me. You saw me as I really am, and you realized the truth. You are the monsters, not us. We are perfect, we are beautiful."

Dick crossed the room again and shoved Bobby against the wall, kissing him again, keeping a tight grip on his hands. Bobby's legs were also pinned against the wall, with Dick's own. He could feel Dick practically grinding against him. Leviathans. They had power over life and death. They could make ghosts feel.

Dick let the veil drop. Bobby saw him as he really was, once more, and gave in to the perfect being in front of him, reciprocating his kiss and embrace. Dick was right. _We are the monsters, not them. _

**R/R. This is NOT meant to be serious. It was a dared crackfic!**


End file.
